gdp's Comments

Lori's LOLz : A Cessna Flight

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:51:56 +0000

What a great opportunity for the boys! My recent post There&8217s no fixing this marriage

Mommy To Two Boys : A Guest Lawyer/Blogger Shares about Special Needs and Divorce

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:00:10 +0000

I've interviewed a lot of divorced women, in addition to my own experience and I see the "I'll get divorced when ..." as a sign that the person isn't mentally ready to face the challenge of getting divorced. They may be looking for an easy way out, a spouse who has an affair. a spouse who is financially irresponsible or has addiction problems. They may not be able to visualize themselves being divorced and this is holding them back. It's hard for me to believe that there's any situation that truly makes a divorce impossible. It's more a question of people not liking the available options.

Since My Divorce ... : No dating after divorce

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 19:44:11 +0000

I often think that the whole marriage institution was developed by the powers that be as a way of controlling their followers and there are so many similar examples, in what are referred to as "minorities" (I don't care for that term, seems loaded with insinuations).

Since My Divorce ... : Do you choose drugs or our marriage?

Fri, 9 Jul 2010 03:36:48 +0000

I like your dating rule - I'm making a note to self for future reference on that. They do need help but it's professional help and not you.

Since My Divorce ... : Do you choose drugs or our marriage?

Fri, 9 Jul 2010 03:33:45 +0000

I don't think it's just women in turbulent relationships who ask those questions. My relationship was particularly turbulent, there was no abuse or addiction issues and I kept asking myself, "Are things going to change?" I think it's because we don't want to make the wrong decision.

Since My Divorce ... : Getting divorced without your parents' support

Wed, 7 Jul 2010 21:54:12 +0000

Lucinda - it sounds like you're in a really tough situation. I'm sorry your family is judging you when you're grieving the loss of your marriage. Could you talk to any of them, explain how they're making you feel and ask why they are treating you that way. I get the sense that you know what you want to do and you will find a way to make that happen. It doesn't have to be overnight but slowly and surely you'll get there. Is there a way you could move out from your parents' home? Could you house sit for someone or maybe live somewhere in exchange for household keeping duties?

Since My Divorce ... : More universal truths about divorce

Sun, 4 Jul 2010 16:21:27 +0000

Divorce is definitely life-changing - you can choose whether you grow from it or allow it to take you down. Sounds like it was growing opportunity for you. Your children must truly appreciate that you and your ex and your respective partners can be grandparents together - it's encouraging to hear that it can work.

Since My Divorce ... : Universal truths about divorce

Thu, 1 Jul 2010 14:37:17 +0000

Hi Nicole - Anger often masks another emotion that the person is too afraid to show. Maybe he knew what he was doing was mean and thoughtless but he wasn\\\'t stronger enough to handle it in another more thoughtful way. When you talk about what other people see, remember that they only see things on a superficial level - only the people in the relationship know what it is truly like. Good to hear from you again!

Since My Divorce ... : Five more universal truths about divorce

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 15:29:53 +0000

I agree! I do think there is a very negative cultural norm around divorce - the expectation is that it will be confrontational and fraught with arguments and disagreements. I think a divorce coach could really help you see that it doesn't have to be that way.

Since My Divorce ... : The courage to confront your marriage

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 02:21:10 +0000

hi LGP - thanks for stopping by and sharing your story. It does take a lot of courage to make such a change after 20 years. I hope you'll visit again and share more with us.

Since My Divorce ... : The graying of divorce

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 02:19:14 +0000

Thanks Jolene! The Denver Post photographer was great, really friendly. He even talked to my daughter about photo composition.

Since My Divorce ... : Shielding your children after divorce

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:27:37 +0000

I think you're in a difficult situation because there is a safety issue here. Have your children ever said anything about dad's strange behavior? Do they know what he's like when he's been drinking? Have you told them not to get into the car if they think he's unsafe and to call you? It's little like the conversation you have with a teenager who's out with friends - you know, "call me anytime and I will come and get you. It doesn't matter where you are or what time it is. Just don't get into a car with someone who's been drinking."

Since My Divorce ... : Shielding your children after divorce

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:23:21 +0000

Thank you for chipping in here buecottonmemory - I think what you're saying is it's OK to tell children their parent still loves them provided you're being genuine about it. You can recognize that the parent may be involved to best that he/she is able but don't lie because children will see through that.

Since My Divorce ... : The graying of divorce

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:18:58 +0000

I have to be careful agreeing here since I do freelance as a reporter so "they" could be me !

Since My Divorce ... : The graying of divorce

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:17:50 +0000

I don't even like referring to "late-life" divorce - I'm not thinking this is late-life for me!

Since My Divorce ... : The relief of leaving your marriage

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:16:52 +0000

Oh, that would give me a sick feeling every time I went to withdraw money or check the balance. And I agree, there are some things you do because they are force of habit.

Since My Divorce ... : Shielding your children after divorce

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:12:44 +0000

In that situation, I think it is kindest for our children to say that 'Dad is doing the best he is able.' About 10 years ago, I went to a psychic - I was feeling upset/angry/bitter that my mother had died before my children were born whereas my husband's mom was alive but never really interacted with our children because of her depression/bi-polar. The psychic, rightly told me, to disconnect the two things - they're not connected. Then he also said I needed to stop defining my child's relationship with their grandmother by my expectations. They have a right to a relationship and it's between them and her to define and it will be what it will be. I know the whole psychic bit may be 'out-there' but what he said struck home and helped me see my mother-in-law with a lot more compassion. She was doing all that she was able to do. When I find myself bemoaning my ex's disorganization or chronic tardiness, remembering this reminds to keep my mouth shut.

Since My Divorce ... : The relief of leaving your marriage

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 15:58:13 +0000

Vivianne, YOU are inspiring. Stay strong, my friend.

Since My Divorce ... : Finding strength after divorce

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:47:56 +0000

Boohoo - you sound really angry. Are you divorced? Getting divorced?

Since My Divorce ... : Caught sleeping while married

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:46:49 +0000

I know what you're saying - I struggled with knowing that I couldn't get my husband to change but wasn't that what I signed up for when I made my vows. Would you be interested in sharing more of your story? I'd love to hear more about the moment you knew enough was enough.