I own firearms. May you be dismayed to learn that I think no less of your masculinity for doing otherwise. I live in one of the most violent cities in America. I have loved ones who depend upon me for their safety. I owe them both my preparedness and my vigilance. Pardon me if these values betray any lack of manly conviction.

Awkward judgments intending to codify the qualities of so-called "real" men are pretentious to begin with. Indulge me, buddy, and rephrase your glib remark as something more palatable to a logical mind.

Gin has suffered from wanton neglect since the transition from jazz to rock 'n' roll. Though the above-listed suggestions are more than sufficient, I find that Hendrick's - superb as it is with its peculiar cucumber aromatic - is limited in application to understated cocktails like the classic Moscow Mule. For that quintessential juniper bite, I nominate either Martin Miller's ($30 per 750ml) or the ubiquitous but satisfying Bombay Sapphire ($20 per 750ml).

In re: "Sherlock Holmes," Doyle never characterized his erudite investigator as having smoked a calabash pipe. To the contrary, one of few direct acknowledgments of Holmes displaying any preference of pipe was written in "A Case of Identity" as follows: "Then he took down from the rack the old and oily clay pipe, which was to him as a counsellor [sic], and, having it, he leaned back in his chair, with the thick blue cloud-wreaths spinning up from him, and a look of infinite languor in his face." Alternatively, Holmes was written to have favored a "long cherry-wood pipe" (likely a churchwarden) with which he was "wont to replace his clay when he was in a disputatious rather than a meditative mood" [The Adventure of the Copper Beeches]. The association between Holmes and the dramatic calabash pipe is likely the invention of actors who took artistic liberties for the sakes of stage presence and gravitas.

Though I can't discern the tell-tale White Spot on the stem of Downey's pipe, I'd wager a guess that it's a Dunhill prince with a dark shell finish. Jude Law endorses Dunhill suits, after all, so it's nothing short of feasible to assume he'd be tapped to furnish the pipe.